For Cannes aficionados, as well as for all of you planning to stay for some portion of the wild days and nights of the 65th Cannes Film Festival: Presenting a list of “Cannes-Do’s and Cannes-Don’ts.” Even if you’re a veteran, some of the following may resonate:
DO: Expect the Palais guards to be mean. Seriously, No Country For Old Men Anton Chigurh mean. And DON’T even try to bring in a water bottle, even with a fake doctor’s note. They will shove you hard and say bad things in French.
DO: Know that you’re not seeing double. Cannes has two carousels and two sets of red steps at the Palais (the Grand Theatre Lumiere and the Debussy). Of course this info might make you drink more – and you’ll end up seeing quadruple.
DON’T: Think you’re going to be Mr. or Ms. Chatty and befriend the Cannes glitterati, pushing your personal agenda. Is it something you said? Maybe. But maybe not. We travelers forget: many people don’t speak English … or simply shake their heads, pretending not to.
DON’T: Expect to run into this guy (on the left), ultimately spending hours laughing with him over drinks. He’s on a yacht with Melanie and Brad and Angelina. An exclusive yacht. One that you may not even be allowed to wave to, unless you slip someone a few euros.
DO: Expect to run into this guy. Don’t scoff … at least he remembered his umbrella. Did you?
DON’T: Spend countless hours trying to get a night shot with a piss-poor camera. Those are hours that you could spend either partying or sleeping. I mean, c’mon!
And speaking of partying and sleep:
DO: Have the best time imaginable!
(Note: All pictures taken by yours truly during Cannes 2011. Hoping to outdo myself at Cannes 2012)